_________________________________
Who was that masked man? Why, that's the
Lone Ranger....
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping on the
prairie. After
they got their tent all set up, both
men fell sound
asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger
and
says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?
The
Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that
tell you?" Tonto asked.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a moment
then says,
"Astronomically speaking it tells me there
are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions
of
planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn
is
in Leo. Time wise,it appears to be approximately
a
quarter past three in the morning. Theologically,
it's
evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are
small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we
will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell
you?
Tonto is silent for a moment, then
says, "Kemo Sabe,
you dumber than buffalo shit, someone has
stolen
tent!
A. L. T. Funny Bone web
page
Published 6/9/05 ALT MSN Group (Defunct)
Web Page: Funny Bone
they got their tent all set up, both
men fell sound
asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger
and
says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?
The
Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that
tell you?" Tonto asked.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a moment
then says,
"Astronomically speaking it tells me there
are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions
of
planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn
is
in Leo. Time wise,it appears to be approximately
a
quarter past three in the morning. Theologically,
it's
evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are
small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we
will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell
you?
Tonto is silent for a moment, then
says, "Kemo Sabe,
you dumber than buffalo shit, someone has
stolen
tent!
A. L. T. Funny Bone web
page
Published 6/9/05 ALT MSN Group (Defunct)
Web Page: Funny Bone
__________________________
Laughter is the best medicine
JOKEBOX LINKS
Subject: Abbott & Costello
ReplyDeleteE-mailed By: MSollosa
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You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and
Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.
For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Bud Abbott
and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on first?"
might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A
COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I
help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and
I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No,
the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a
computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told
you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO:
Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer
with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look
at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the
windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT:
Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT:
Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT:
Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office
with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's
just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in
Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The
Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO:
I'm
WOMEN VS. MEN
ReplyDeleteThis was long but enjoyable....laughs for the
day
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Adriana
WOMAN'S PERFECT
BREAKFAST
She's
sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the
Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her
boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of
the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I
asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled
for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her
purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she
replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I
figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S
PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not goi
Elevator Humor
ReplyDeletethis is Donna BIG TIME
lol
Click > http://www.toilette-humor.com/flash/brocolli.swf
As far as I know, this has been around as far as I can remember ( I
ReplyDeleteeven posted it more than 25 years on the bulletin board). I got it again
via e-mail a few days ago.
WHY I'M TIRED....
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not
enough
sunshine,
too much pressure from my job, earwax
build-up, poor blood or anything else
I could think of.
But now I
found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.
Here's why:. . The population of this country is 273 million.
140
million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85
million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there
are 29 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 19 million to do
the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing
Osama
Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work
Take
from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city
governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any
given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do
the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just
two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are sitting on
your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real
nice.