Funny Bones Filipino

TAWA NAMAN D'YAN!  KAHIT NA CORNY!!

A warning to all
vegetarians and those taking cholessterol lowering
drugs! SOMEDAY YOU MIGHT LOSE ALL YOUR FRIENDS!  WE'RE ALL DEAD AND YOU'RE
STILL ALIVE! - Beefeaters.

According to beauty advice
on having a beautiful and smooth skin - get 8 hours of sleep, eat lots of
fruits and drink 8 glasses of water daily.  DOING THESE THINGS HAVE NO
EFFECT ANYMORE.  WHY NOT JUST HAVE A PLASTIC SURGERY!

Senior Citizen #1: 
How can we save on electricity?

Senior Citizen #2: 
Maybe use low watt bulb.

Senior Citizen #1: 
You mean like 40-watt bulb?

Senior Citizen #2: 
No, just turn on the light during the day!

Fan #1:  Did you
already see the house of Stevie Wonder?

Fan #2:  Not yet,
why?

Fan #1:  Him,
too!

Pinokano #1:  You
have such nice skin color.  Are you mestiso?

Pinokano #2:  Yes,
I'm half and half.

Pinokano #1:  That's
what I thought.  What kind?

Pinokano #2: 
HALF-FILIPINO, HALF-FILIPINA.

Reporter:  Madam
President, the public is complaining of the high cost of
electricity.

GMA:  It's only
temporary.

Reporter:  Ahhh....so
the cost will go down?

GMA:  NO, the
complaints are just temporary.

Beerdrinker #1:  Why
are you drinking SUPER DRY BEER?

Beerdrinker #2:  Of
course, so as not to wet my throat!

Son:  Dad, what's the
difference between 'DINNER' and SUPPER'?

Dad:  Son, if we eat
outside it's 'Dinner'.  If we eat your mother's cooking, it's
'Suffer'.

Pinokano #1:  Did you
know I won the lotto in my dream?  What should I do?

Pinokano #2:  That's
simple.  When you win again, collect it right away!

From A.L.T.
Publication - Funny Bones message board