September 20, 2014 Kauai Wedding of Suzy & Bryan
Recycled Web Page September2014
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Red Skelton's Tips for a Happy Marriage for newlyweds
...
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
beverage,
good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on
Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is
in
Tucson.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way
back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I
suggested the
kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she
shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread
maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit
down!"
So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car
wasn't running well because there was water
in the carburetor. I asked where
the car was; she told me "In the lake,"
8. She got a mudpack and looked great
for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck,
yelling "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said "No, jump
in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I
married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I
haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.
13.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I
said
"Dust!
Keep
Smilin
Emailed by Rose of Pennsylvania - Funny Bone web
page
beverage,
good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on
Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is
in
Tucson.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way
back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I
suggested the
kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she
shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread
maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit
down!"
So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car
wasn't running well because there was water
in the carburetor. I asked where
the car was; she told me "In the lake,"
8. She got a mudpack and looked great
for two days. Then the mud fell
off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck,
yelling "Am I too late for the
garbage?" The driver said "No, jump
in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I
married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I
haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.
13.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I
said
"Dust!
Keep
Smilin
Emailed by Rose of Pennsylvania - Funny Bone web
page
Published 11/22/04 ALT MSN Group
Web Page: Red Skelton's Tips for a Happy Marriage
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