2004 E-mails Got COKE?

I DRINK COKE A LOT - 3 CANS A DAY.   I've spent millions in my lifetime to fizz me up.   But I've never bought Diet COKE because I don't like it.  Imagine my surprise when I opened a case and found an empty can of COKE.   That's one in a million!  A friend told me that the Coca-Cola company owes me a refund.

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POPULAR E-MAILS FORWARDED

My Dear MSN Groups Members and Friends:

 Whoever wrote this must be really frustrated. 
Upon reading, I found out his name

is INO.

       I want to thank all of you who have
taken the
       time and trouble to send
me your damn chain letters
       over the past
two years. Thank you for making me
       feel
safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Because
       of your
concern....

       I no longer can drink
Coca Cola because it can
       remove toilet
stains. 

       I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr.
Pepper since the people

       who make these products are
atheists who refuse

       to put "Under God" on their
cans. 

       I no longer drink anything out of a
can because

       I will get sick from the rat
feces and urine.

       I no longer
use Saran wrap in the microwave
       because
it causes cancer. 

       I no longer check the coin return on
pay phones

       because I could be pricked with a
needle infected

       with AIDS. 

       I no longer use cancer-causing
deodorants even
       though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

       I no longer go to shopping malls
because someone
       will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

       I no longer receive packages from UPS or
FedEx
       since they are actually Al Qaeda
in disguise.

       I no longer shop at
Target since they are French
       and don't
support our American troops.

       I no longer answer the phone because
someone

       will ask me to dial a stupid number
for which I will

       get the phone bill from hell with
calls to Jamaica,
       Uganda, Singapore, and
Uzbekistan.

       I no longer eat pre-packaged foods
because

       the estrogens they contain will turn
me gay.

       I no longer eat KFC because
their chickens are
       actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or
      
feathers. 

       I no longer date the opposite
sex
       because they will take my kidneys
and leave me
       taking a nap in a bathtub
full of ice.

       I no longer have any
sneakers -- but that will
       change once I
receive my free replacement pair
       from
Nike. 

       I no longer buy expensive cookies
from
       Neiman Marcus since I now have
their recipe.

       I no longer worry about my soul because I
have
       363,214 angels looking out for me
and St.
       Theresa's novena has granted my
every wish.

       Thanks to you, I have
learned that God only
       answers my prayers
if I forward an e-mail to
       seven of my
friends and make a wish within five
      
minutes.  (Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works
that
       way!) 

       I no longer have any savings because I
gave
       it to a sick girl who is about to
die in the
       hospital (for the 1,387,258th
time).

       I no longer have any money at
all, but that will
       change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft
       and AOL are
sending me for participating in their
      
special e-mail program. 

       Yes, I want to thank all of you
soooooooo much

       for looking out for me!  I will
now return the favor.

       If you don't
send this e-mail to at least 1200
      
people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird
with
       diarrhea will crap on your head at
5:00 PM this afternoon
       and the fleas of
a thousand camels will infest
       your
armpits.  I know this will occur because
it
       actually happened to a friend of a
friend of a friend of

       a friend of a friend of a friend of a
friend of my
       next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's
       2nd
cousin's 3rd husband's ex-wife's
mother's
       beautician!!!

Emailed by Thomasian MSollosa

Published  2/16/05  ALT  MSN Group
Web Page: 2004 E-mails