This individual seeks an executive position. He
will be available next January, and is willing to relocate.
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license
suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not
available. NOT BAD CONSIDERING TED KENNEDY'S
CHAPAQUIDDICK DRIVING RECORD AND HE DID NOT BUY THE SILENCE OF ANYBODY
BECAUSE HE WAS FROM A POWERFUL AND WELL-CONNECTED FAMILY.
WINK-WINK.
Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a
drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air
National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam. NOT BAD CONSIDERING BILL CLINTON'S FROM RUSSIA
WITH LOVE AND VIETNAM DRAFT RECORD.
College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a
cheerleader. NOT BAD CONSIDERING YALE IS AN
IVY LEAGUE UNIVERSITY AND NOT A COMMUNITY COLLEGE WITH LOWER
STANDARDS. AS A CHEERLEADER
PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH LED AND LIGHTENED UP THE LIFE AND HEART AND SOUL OF
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THROUGH THE DARK AND PAINFUL DAYS OF THE 9/11
TRAGEDY. YES, LET JUSTICE BE DONE EVEN IF HEAVEN FALLS.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business
in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil
in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I
bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land
using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil
industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas. NOT BAD CONSIDERING HE MADE OR BROKE IT ON HIS OWN AND
NOT MARRYING FOR MONEY LIKE HIS PRESIDENTIAL OPPONENT DID TERESA HEINZ
KETCHUP. SHOVE IT, BABY! I LOVE A SUGAR MOMMY.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
- I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced
Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. NOT BAD CONSIDERING THE STATE OF TEXAS IS NUMBER ONE - DON'T
MESS WITH TEXAS!
- I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
in borrowed money. NOT BAD CONSIDERING ALL
GOVERNORS DID - RIGHT GRAY DAVIS?
- I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
history. NOT BAD FOR IF YOU DID THE CRIME YOU
PAY.
- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over
500,000 votes. HUH? I ONLY REMEMBER ONE
APPOINTMENT - THE HONORABLE JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS. THE VOTES
WERE COUNTED MANY. MANY TIMES AND STILL PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH WAS STILL
AHEAD.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record. OH YEAH? THEN ALL DRUNKEN DRIVERS
ARE CRIMINALS LIKE YOUR HUSBAND, WIFE, SONS AND
DAUGHTERS. AND NOT BAD
COMPARING WITH THE FORMER WHITE HOUSE OCCUPANT WHO DID NOT HAVE A SEXUAL
RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT WOMAN AND WHO LIED TO THE GRAND JURY MAKING HIM A
SEXUAL PREDATOR.
- I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
billion dollars per week. OH
YEAH? AFGHANISTAN IS
FREE OF THE TERRIBLE TALIBANS AND IRAQ IS FREE OF SADISTIC SADDAM &
SONS. FREEDOM - ONE OF THE
AMERICAN DREAMS.
- I spent the U.S surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
WHAT SURPLUS? THE CLINTON BUBBLE ECONOMY BURST AND
THE 9/11 TRAGEDY SENT THE ECONOMY INTO A TAILSPIN. YOU GOT TO SPEND
MONEY FOR HOMELAND SECURITY, ANTHRAX SCARE AND THE WAR ON
TERROR.
- I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
CHAIN REACTION
- I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period. BECAUSE IT STARTED WITH THE
CORRUPT CORPORATION POLICIES OF THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION - THE NEXT
GUY JUST GOT INTO AND NEVER HAD A HONEYMOON WITH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
WHEN 9/11 HAPPENED.
- I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
REDUNDANT
- I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost
their jobs and that trend continues every month. BECAUSE OF 9/11 AND COME ON.... MY PORTFOLIO SEEMS TO BE
HOLDING OUT.
- I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice,
has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. GEORGE
43 - YOUR CABINET MEMBERS ARE THE MOST ADMIRED (SEC. POWELL, NSA DR.
RICE, SEC. RUMSFELD AND OF COURSE VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY) AND MOST
QUALIFIED. I COULD NOT THINK OF ANYONE ELSE - NOT KERRY'S HOLLYWOOD
PALS.
- I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
President. SO? SO DOES HIS PRESIDENTIAL OPPONENT
AND BILLIONAIRES FROM MOVEON.ORG ETC...
- I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations. SO IS HIS
PRESIDENTIAL OPPONENT AND HE MARRIED CASH, MOOLAH, DINERO $1
BILLIONS.
- My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.
History, Enron. STOP! INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN
GUILTY. THE BOSS IS ALWAYS
THE LAST ONE TO KNOW OF ANY HANKY-PANKY BY PEONS. IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN
KENNY BOY JOINED ENRON LATE IN THE GAME TO SAVE IT.
- My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
LIKEWISE WITH FORMER EXECUTIVES CLINTON &
GORE. THEY HAD AIR FORCE ONE!
- I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the
Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest
corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in
U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
LIES.... DON'T FORGET THE COVER-UP OF THE
WHITEWATERGATE.
- I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
INFLATION - IT'S GOING UP TO $50 A
BARREL. BY THE WAY, I
THOUGHT WE WENT TO WAR FOR OIL?
- I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts. LIES - NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A
THING. PURE EXAGGERATION. NOT BAD COMPARING TO THE SELL-OUT OF OUR SENSITIVE MATERIALS TO
CHINA BY THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION.
- I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
President in U.S. history. LIES- WHO? NAME
ONE.
- I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in
the history of the United States government. EXCELLENT JOB, SEC. TOM RIDGE - AMERICAN CITIZENS NEED
PROTECTION AND SECURITY.
- I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history. WHAT? THIS IS ALL MADE UP BY AN
ACID-BRAIN TWISTED DEMOCRAT. WHAT ABOUT THE AXIS OF EVIL - IRAQ, IRAN
AND NO/ KOREA? IRAQ BROKE MANY U.N. RESOLUTIONS. MIDDLE EASTERN
TERRORISTS AND AFRICAN DICTATORS ARE CURRENTLY BREAKING
THEM.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. THE UNITED NATIONS IS AN IMPOTENT, MISGUIDED AND PROBABLY
CORRUPT ORGANIZATION AND ONE PROOF IS THE "OIL FOR FOOD PROGRAM" IN IRAQ
UNDER SADDAM.
- I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. AMERICA AS A SOVEREIGN SUPERPOWER HAS ITS OWN LAWS
AND SHOULD NOT BE DICTATED BY ANYONE.
- I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. NOT FROM WHAT I READ. I ALSO CONCUR WITH THE PATRIOT ACT.
- I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). THE
USA IS NOT A PUPPET OF THE UNITED NATIONS AS HIS PRESIDENTIAL OPPONENT WANTS
IT TO BE.
- I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television. LIES -
NOT FROM WHAT I SEE ON TV. PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH IS ALWAYS IN
TOUCH.
- I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security failure in U.S. history. LIES...IT'S A
WORKING VACATION AND AS PRESIDENT OF THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD IT'S A
24/7 JOB. ADMIT IT. AMERICA HAS BEEN SAFE SINCE
9/11.
- I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade
Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country
in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. LIES....AMERICA HAS BEEN HATED AND ENVIED BY THE WORLD EVEN
BEFORE AND AFTER 9/11 - THE MANY ATTACKS DURING THE CLINTON YEARS AND NO
AGGRESSIVE RETALIATION WAS A PERCEPTION OF WEAKNESS. THE PATHETIC AND
FAILED DIPLOMACIES OF MADAME ALBRIGHT AND HER BOSS LED TO 9/11. IT WAS
AN ADMINISTRATION OF COMPROMISES AND DO NOTHING
POLICIES.
- I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the
record for protests against any person in the history of mankind. THOSE PEOPLE WANT TO DESTROY AMERICA AND ORGANIZED BY
THE AL-QAEDA NETWORK THAT PROLIFERATED AND INFESTED THE WORLD DURING
THE 8 YEARS OF THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION AND LEST WE FORGET BY
BUSH-HATING LIBERAL DEMOCRATS AND GORE SORE LOSERS WITH A BIG L.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so
against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the
world community. NEVER TRUST AGAIN AND
I LIKE PREEMPTION.... GO GEORGE!
- I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime. ALL PAST PRESIDENTS DID. IT IS SWEET AND PROPER TO
DIE FOR ONE'S COUNTRY. THANK YOU, SOLDIER. SEMPER
FI!
- In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. NO LIES - SADDAM GOT TO GO AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SOME OF THESE
COUNTRIES ARE IN CAHOOT AND SPONSORING TERRORISM BEHIND THEIR MOSQUES AND
FOUNDATIONS TO THIS VERY MOMENT. IF I WERE TOLD BY CIA AT THE TIME
"IT'S A SLAM-DUNK CASE" AND BY INTELLIGENCE IN UK AND RUSSIA, WELL, IT'S A
DONE DEAL THEN. THERE'S A LOT OF BLAME TO GO AROUND AND AS FAR AS I KNOW THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA NEVER BLAMED THE BRITS OR
ANYONE.
- I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
YA, RIGHT! THESE EUROPEANS ARE THE FRENCH
AND THE GERMANS. HIS HAUGHTY AND PATRICIAN FRENCH LOOKING AND
FRENCH LOVING PRESIDENTIAL OPPONENT WOULD AGREE NOT ONLY 71% BUT 100% TO
THAT!
- I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a
WMD. ATTABOY! I'M FOR IT TOO!! AMERICA WILL NEVER
BE CAUGHT SLEEPING AGAIN AND DOWNPLAYING ANY WARNING ABOUT ITS
ENEMIES.
- I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to
justice. OSAMA IS DEAD AND HIS 49 SONS ARE HIDING
IN IRAN AND IRAN IS NEXT IF I'M THE PRESIDENT BUT LUCKY FOR IRAN I'M
NOT.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
-All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my
father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. CALL SOMEDAY WILL YOU AND CHECK. THIS IS AMERICA
AND YOU HAVE THE FREEDOM TO DO ANYTHING.
- All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
DITTO....
- All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
Vice-president, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy
and unavailable for public review. PRIVATE MEETING
ONLY. PLEASE.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004! OKAY!
PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW! GOTCHA!
GEORGE W. BUSH
YOU'RE HIRED!
W - WIN'04
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