Lab Joker

HEALTH ALERT

Can't eat pork, Swine flu ...

Can't eat chicken, Bird flu ...

Can't eat beef, Mad cow ...

Can't eat eggs, Salmonella ...

Can't eat fish, heavy metal poisons in their waters ...

Can't eat fruits, veggies, E.coli, insecticides and herbicides

 

Hmmmmmm!!! I believe that leaves chocolate and ice cream!!!

STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS

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Overheard in Histology Lab: IS PAPA NICOLAU IN?

One tech to another tech: John Doe is in ER.  He's here again? He was just here the other day.

Patient: What do I have doctor?
Doctor: I told you before and write it down this time - you have amnesia.

Sign in doctor's office: Catch of the day!
Strep throat
Cold
Flu

Patient to lab receptionist: I'd like to have VDRL test and See Phyllis.

Seen in computer order entry: Do H by LORI  (H. pylori)

Tech: I have a CPK result on John Doe.
Nurse: Can you spell that for me.

Examiner: Name two days of the week that start with the letter T.
Forrest Gump: Today and Tomorrow

Examiner: How many seconds are there in a year?
Forrest Gump: 12 seconds.
Examiner: How did you calculate that?
Forrest Gump: You know, January second, February second, March second...

OB doctor to a woman who just delivered.  Congratulations! It's a boy!!! He pushed the Human Genome Machine button and a print out copy came out:
By 16 - He'll be a nerd.
By 30 - He'll have male pattern baldness.
By 40 - He'll become a millionaire and have mid-life crisis.
By 50 - He'll have erectlile dysfunction (ED).

Q & A
What kind of jokes do vegetable like best?
Corny ones.

Why would Snow White be a good judge?
Because she's the fairest in the land.

What did the ant do when he killed the other ant?
Pesticide.

Where did you get your ham sandwich?
In New Delhi.

What do people from Minneapolis call a small soda?
Mini-soda.

Why do people in Ireland take their money to the bank?
Because it's always Dublin.

What three letters turn a girl into a woman?
A-G-E

Why does Santa like to work on his garden on his day off?
So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.


How do you tell Jay Leno is lying?
His chin grows longer.

hehehe.

 

 

 

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Published  4/21/06  ALT MSN Groups

Web Page: Lab Jokes

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