Jokebox Test Hospital

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HELPFUL
NURSE

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen
mask
over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a
4-hour
operation.

A young nurse appears in his room to
sponge his hands and
feet. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my
testicles
black?

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies,
"I don't know, I'm only
here to wash your hands and feet."

He struggles again to ask,
"Nurse,
are my testicles black?"

Finally, she pulls back the covers,
raises
his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the
other
hand, takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with
them!"

The man removes his oxygen mask and says very slowly, "That was
really
nice, but listen very, very
closely,
"Are...my...test...results...back?"

hehehe-mailed by
MSollosa

Published  4/25/06  ALT  MSN Group

Web Page:  Jokebox Test Hospital

FBO Pump Gas

PUMP ME UP....More than a
year ago, we've been forewarned in our sister website page B*U*S*T* GLOBAL
DAYNEWS  that by 2008 the price of  oil would go up to $80 a
barrel.  Well, it's the year 2006 and the price of oil is already $76
a barrel and going up.  Even President George W. Bush gave us a
fair warning in his speech to the nation that we're addicted to oil.  The
American people is feeling the pain at the pump and pointing the blame on
him just like what they did to former President Jimmy Carter - one of
many reasons voters kicked him out of office.  You know what, I'm okay with
that if President George W. Bush will get the Nobel Peace Prize twenty years
from now.  

My dear relatives and friends all over the United
States: We are intelligent people and we should use our coconut and not
blame everything as usual to the President.  Accept the realities and
changes.  There is no way but up!  It may go down in the short term
but  accept the inevitable that it will never ever return to the days when
we used to pay 29 cents a gallon.

Here are the reasons why prices have
increased:

• Great and increasing demands of oil and gas by
  developing countries like China, India and the rest of the
  world [one-third China, one-third the rest of Asia, and one-third the
  US].  So also  blame the Chinese and Indians, not President
  George W. Bush and the greedy oil executives.  Let's pray for economic
  meltdown!!!  And the oil prices will go down.  However, pray all we
  can but China for instance is having an extremely robust economy and the
  Chinese are not ever going back in driving their bicycles.  No
  way!
  
• Realization that oil-producing countries such as Saudi
  Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Nigeria, Mexico, and Venezuela may not be able to
  meet rising global demand of more than 6 billion people.  Sooner or
  later, their oil wells are up to run on empty.
  
• The environmentalist wackos and killer Democrats in
  Congress are partly to blame not President George W. Bush.  They have
  killed the oil exploration in the Alaskan tundra.  The US is being left
  behind - it takes 10 years to get something out of the project.
  
• The oil industry and other commodities are coming out
  of a 20-year down cycle and need to overinvest to catch up to speed.  Oil
  companies underinvested in production and hiring capacity.

I have said this before and I'll say it again.  In
my opinionated opinion, I have no sympathy for American drivers.  If they
can buy a cup of coffee for $3.85  or $500 rubber shoes or $3,500
flat-screen 42-inch TV, then they should not complain in buying $4 a gallon of
gas.  Common folks should stop driving gas-gushling cars and be more
energy conscious.

LEAKY CIA ....Yes, there will always be a Judas of any
type.  The politically correct term of the leftist mainstream media is
whistleblower.  CIA Director Porter Goss should be praised for
terminating a woman senior specialist in the Inspector General Office for
leaking confidential materials of great military importance to Pulitzer
Prize winning reporters of the overrated  Washington Post and The New York
Times.  These newspapers are nothing but the political tools of the liberal
Democrats and Socialist Communists in America.  Mr. Goss should close
and tape the loose lips of these CIA leakers who have an agenda to
undermine the fight on the war on terror.  She and future leakers, for
there will be few more to come, took an oath and as far as I'm concerned they
have no loyalty and allegiance to their home country.

A woman is like a teabag?

You never know how strong she is until she
gets into hot water.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Published  4/23/06   ALT  MSN Group

Web Page:  FBO

Lab Excursion Da Vinci Exhibit

LEONARDO DA VINCI IS REALLY AND TRULY THE RENAISSANCE MAN OF THE AGES.  A man of all trade: designer, architect, inventor, geologist, mathematician, sculptor, astronomer, botanist, civil and military engineer, landscaper, anatomist, musician (inventor of musical instruments), singer, art critic and of course, master painter.  However, the most surprising thing of all, with all his great accomplishments, unlike the other Renaissance Man, Michaelangelo, he had never been portrayed in a modern day movie?  Why is that? He's been copied and imitated for sure.  So, I dug in his colorful  background.

He was born in 1452 in the little village of Vinci in Italy.  His father, Piero, saw the boy genius in him and took him to Florence to work and study with the painter Verrochio.  His first completed work as a student was the Baptism of Christ and people thought that the angel was the best part of the painting.  He soon painted better than his teacher and was admitted to the painters' guild at the age of 20. His many activities prevented him from completing many paintings.  In his early years in Milan, he did complete a painting, The Madonna of the Rocks (Louvre).  He also painted a mural, The Last Supper, in the dining hall of the monastery of Santa Maria della Grazie.  The way in which he shows the complex emotions in the hearts of Christ's disciples in masterful.  Many critics consider it one of th greatest painting in the world - a testament to his genius. 



Original Mural (c. 1495-1498)





Copy

Computer animation

 Leonardo may be dyslexic like most geniuses are.  He wrote most of his notes backwards with is left hand.  He then read them with a mirror.  There are known 7,000 pages of his ideas, sketches, and inventions from his notebooks in existence.  His ideas of aerial screws led to the development of propeller and helicopter.  His sketches of flying machine, machine gun and metal projectiles are forecast of things to come.

In 1499, French troops seized Milan.  Leonardo returned to Florence where he painted a portrait of the wife of a merchant named Giocondo.  People liked especially the painting for its simplicity, dignity and notably her mysterious and enigmatic smile.  The mountain landscape in the background seems to lead the looker to infinity.  The La Giocanda o Mona Lisa painting now hangs in the wall of the Louvre in Paris.  Taking photo of the precious painting is now allowed

He returned to Milan in 1506, this time in the service of Louis XII of France.  Six years later he went to Rome to work for Pope Leo X and planned the designs and constructions of Saint Peter's Church and other buildings in the Vatican.  Several French kings admired Leonardo and invited him to live in France.  He finally accepted Francis I's invitation in 1516  He lived like a king in the small castle of Cioux, near Amboise.

The great artist died on May 2, 1519.

Da Vinci's painting of Madonna Litta (c.1490-1491) Hermitage, St. Petersburg

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Previous Publication  4/21/06  ALT MSN Groups (defunct)

Web Page: Lab Excursion

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Come and see the Leonardo Da Vinci Exhibits

http://www.msichicago.org/temp_exhibit/leonardo/index.html

at

The Museum of Science and Industry

in Chicago

 

Health & Lab Technology Microwave Water

Subject:  Microwave water

A 26-year old person decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup
of
water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he
had
done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the
timer
for, but he told me he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When
the
timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he
looked
into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but instantly
the
water in the cup "blew up" into his face. The cup remained intact
until
he threw it out of his hand but all the water had flown out into
his
face due to the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and
he
has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face which may leave scarring.
He
also may have lost partial sight in his left eye. While at the
hospital,
the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is fairly
common
occurrence and water
(alone) should never!  be heated in a
microwave oven. If water is heated
in this manner, something should be placed
in the cup to diffuse the
energy such as: a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc.
It is however a much
safer choice to boil the water in a tea
kettle.



General Electric's response:

Thanks for contacting us.
I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that
you received is correct.
Microwaved water and other liquids do not
always bubble when they reach the
boiling point. They can actually get
superheated and not bubble at all. The
superheated liquid will bubble up
out of the cup when it is moved or when
something like a spoon or tea
bag is put into it. To prevent this from
happening and causing injury,
do not heat any liquid for more than two
minutes per cup. After heating,
let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty
seconds before moving it
or adding anything into it.

If you pass this
on ... you could very well save someone from a lot of
pain and
suffering.

Pass on by Professor Joe

Published 4/10/06  ALT  MSN Group
Web Page: Health & Technology

Many Names of Money

Recycled Web Page

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new quarters




Published 4/6/06  ALT  MSN Group
Web Page: US Coins